Summer has some side effects

This is my second summer in Dubai. I already have an idea about how this season effects me here.

I am having hard times so far. I started to feel so empty, without any aims and goals in life. This is not about Dubai or the job itself. It has many side effects, though. I am going to be 26 soon. When I look back to what I have done so far, it kinda satisfies me till this point. But the question is “What am I gonna do after this point?” Where is my life going? I am taking lifetime decisions and of course they effect me in many points. This is where the struggle starts.

When I came to Dubai I set myself few goals and now I realize that these goals were not really the best ones. They have been really easy. I achieved all of them. Now I’m kinda looking for harder ones. But it’s been a while that I didn’t think anything about setting goals or build a new future, I’m struggling to be honest. I feel like I started from this point and gonna end up here. But here comes a big NO!!!

No! This is not me. This is so not me!

For the last couple of weeks I tried to make an observation about what was going on in my life and I ended up with few conclusions. Let me share them with you.

  • I have been into reading so much by the last 3 months. I always loved reading but I think I exaggerated the numbers of books, unnecessarily. Reading always opens you new doors. But I had so many doors lately and it has been really hard to decide which one I did belong to. So I kinda started to question my life. Because I’ve read many different ideas which gave me many different points of view about my life. In the end, I just lost myself. Can you imagine? Lost in the books, lol. I think all I need is my real life, again. Therefore, I decided to slow down a bit with books (even movies).

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  • On my Assessment Day with Emirates, they asked me what was my greatest weakness… I remember like yesterday that I told them “being a perfectionist” even though I knew this was the most inappropriate answer ever for a job interview. I studied Labor Economics so I kinda know almost all the tricks of these human resources things. But, at this point, I couldn’t help myself, because this is so true. I am a desperate perfectionist. I am stubborn, I am ambitious. (I wish I could change it.) I came to Dubai and I saw they give Najm appreciations, they write compliment letters, they do invite you for forums to speak up for the rest of your colleagues. They choose stars of the month. And goes on… I put them all into my list. Because I needed to be the perfect one. So this became my goal. And two weeks ago, I reached all my goals. And yeap, life was over. That’s how I felt the next morning when I woke up. I got Bronze Najm because I was nominated for star of the month. Of course it made me so proud and happy. But yes, I felt like there’s no further point for me to move on this path. Lost the motivation just like the life was over. But again a big NO. It’s never enough. Let’s move on, GIRL! I know I can always do better. But the question is; “Do I really need to get any better? I mean all the time? Do I really need to keep going? Can’t I just slow down a bit and breathe for a while?” Yes, no? I’ll stop for a while. I’ll stop putting myself in the middle of the competitions all the time. 25 years have gone so fast. There’s no guarantee if I’ll have another couple of 25… Time to enjoy the life. Time to set new goals yeah but this time only about myself! I will, promise.

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  • I have been some kind of nerd till now. Not a total one, of course but partially. Studying made the most of my life. If not for college then for a language. I always seek something which can develope me to the further. But this is going to change, too. Dubai, you are so cute but so hot. I would love to run by the beach. I just love taking my time when it comes to the nature. But summer killed my vibes. I assume, in a short while, when this killing hot weather leaves Dubai, I’ll fall in love with this place once again. But summer, you destroyed me! Can you kindly leave any soon? Please. Get me outdoors.

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  • Friends leaving Dubai. The fall has started for April,24th joiners. Luckily not a single one from my batch. But yes, when you see someone leaving, you start to question as well. My suggestion for you all out there, do not follow the ones who’s leaving. Follow the positive. This is much more than a job in the end. This is a passion. Think twice about killing your passion 🙂

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So… I know I have been the company’s positive face. I have met people on board who loved reading my blog because of my positivity, I met people who joined Emirates just because my blog gave them all the answers to their doubts about the job. I welcomed many new joiner followers on my flights. I loved what I was doing till now. But for a while I’ll just let my life flow too.

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I still feel blessed because I love this job. I love the cultures and this is the perfect place for me. Since I was 16 years old, different cultures and languages have been my passion. I am still living my dream, so far. Nothing has been changed. This job and the company is a total blessing. But this time it’s all about me. I feel like I need some time off. Not any soon, but yes, I set a new vacation goal as well.

And for those who’s wondering, nope guys, I still don’t hate people. 🙂 I still wear my uniform with a pride. I still hug kids on my flights and they still give me the best feeling ever in the world. As I told up there, it’s not about the job. It’s just about me.

Midlife crisis hit me earlier than usual? Lol why not..

As usual I wanna close this in a positive sense. You know it’s not my thing to be negative. I just cannot stay on that side 🙂 Here’s my Bronze Najm. I’ll try to keep reaching stars 😉

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The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.

Michelangelo

Come, join me! Love u all. X

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